Musings Of My Kind

How very true.

2011-10-17T22:19:00.001+11:00

This holds true. It cannot be said enough.

After all is said and done.

2011-09-28T21:23:00.006+10:00

"Magical things happen when you work with people that are driven by passion. There is much more in this world than money. And lastly, I would rather be an extraordinary garbage collector than a normal stock broker" - Speech by Pete Teo.‎

Random find but it is nice to know that someone out there share's my sentiments. I salute Pete Teo. Let's dissect each part, shall we?

People driven by passion are really a sight to behold. There is a yawning difference between them and we common folk. The twinkle in their eyes when they talk about something close to their heart, a deep desire to make their mark on the world which is truly laudable. I've chanced upon some. And, it makes you wonder about what drives you. I've known for a long time that books were a passion. But I never thought of going into the publishing business. I entertained the notion of being a writer once. Or even an editor. But my pessimism and the thought of never producing something I am truly happy with always gets the better of me and I negate myself the right to being satisfied with something I've written. I might be overly critical, but I always believe that, one day I will find my niche. That doesn't stop me from feeling ecstatic when I find a quaint little bookshop tucked in the corner of one Melbourne's little footpaths. Or the smell of new books. As much as I love books, I have come to believe that it doesn't mean that I need to be surrounded by it 24/7. I have many other interests. And that doesn't mean I don't have a passion. Talk to me about books. And I'll make you see stars.

Does the world even believe there is more important things than money these days? Or are we obsessed about the next paycheck and career progression? I believe that being blessed with good things in my life, I have never felt the need to want money. But then I get snide remarks when I tell this to many people, especially those apparently wiser than myself. "Oh you're young, you don't know what is important". Sure I do. Health, happiness and love among others. Is that not enough? I like what money buys but I'm sure that without all the materialistic things money gets you these days, we can still be happy. They did it in the olden days right? When a game of marbles was a childhood novelty. Not the latest Nintendo Wii.

There is a reason why they say that to know what is important in life, ask a child. Because those are the minds that are most pure and not yet marred by the passage of time. I do hope that kids these days continue to live up to that old saying. It would be a shame for them to tell me that the most important thing was to get a new video game. This transitory life on earth is just that, transitory. Materialistic things come and go, kids.

Now the last line in that statement is what I feel most connected to. I do not judge. I try my best not to at least. But really, to me, to know if a person is truly genuine, how they act in a restaurant is a dead clear way to tell the sweet talkers from the most humble. Do they thank the wait staff? And see how they treat that old cleaning lady, who probably did not ask to be born into such circumstances, to be working at 55 years of age to feed herself. Do they smile at the janitor on the way to the office. Who works until the wee hours of the morning to feed his children and put them through school, that prays every night for God's grace to grant them a brighter future. You can belong to the highest echelons of society, but if you cannot offer a word of thanks to the people who deserve it, you are not a nice person. Everyone was born equal and hence, deserve equal respect. It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice.

Transition period.

2011-08-31T19:38:00.001+10:00

Plucking eyebrows is painful :( Why do we girls subject ourselves to this torture????

I'm gonna try the unibrow.

***************

And being torn is one of the worse feelings in the world. God, I trust you will show me the path you intend for me. This ephemeral platform can only last so long before I need to hop onto the right train.

There She Goes Again.

2011-07-07T22:15:00.002+10:00

So. I have come to a startling realization that I have neglected this blank canvas that is my blog for much too long. Many an events have taken up much of my time in the land down under. Sometimes, without the handy planner at my fingertips, I have to search every nook and cranny of my little head for a semblance of memory of my plans for the day or two ahead. And I fail most of the time.Hence now I have resolved to carrying the planner everywhere with me. Ok, I need to get a more portable one first. People! Sara loves pretty pretty planners that brighten up her day :) *winks* Yes, the mind, is such a convoluted mess at times that needs compartmentalizing every now and then.

Good things have come abundantly and sometimes, I take a moment to bask in the grace and love that our Lord has graciously shown to a sinner like myself. As unworthy as I am, He still loves me and that has given me the strength each day to stop whining about the unfairness of life. Never have I been more blessed. And I believe that knowledge is what God ultimately wants for each one of us.

Yes, I am still finding myself. No, I have not yet decided where I will be 5 months from now. But its okay. Really. Because I believe God has a plan for me. And that faith is all I have to give right now. Jesus, I may not always know the right thing to do, but I know the fact that I want to please you pleases you.

The Little Things In Life.

2011-05-17T22:09:00.002+10:00

The problem with God given free will and countless options is that it is being given to people like yours truly. Because fickle minded people, with sometimes questionable grounds, with hopes tethered to shaky pillars of idealistic dreams need to be shown those arrow neon lights sometimes. Wave them if you will.

What are you doing it for? Really, what are you doing it for?

Being thrown that question during a discussion over scrumptious weekend breakfast has made me ponder about many things. I can't say that I have always imagined where I would be after graduation. What I really wanted to do with my life. Never. I went with the flow, somehow never taking the time to question if what the world wanted of me was what I truly wanted of myself. My blithe nature allowed it. Not something I am particularly proud of but my past is something I have come to accept.

Discussing life issues with like-minded people can be immeasurably satisfying. I thoroughly enjoy those long heart to heart sessions. It makes me thankful that though life sometimes hasn't gone the way you imagined it to be, there are people around you sharing the same sentiments, hopes and disappointments, who are willing to charge with you every step of the way. Knowing you are not alone, being sometimes fragile empty vessels, it makes a world of difference to know someone will have your back come rain or shine. And by pure grace from God, you met those blessed souls on this fragmentary life on earth.

Having said that, we juggled the idea of teaching after watching a video about educating kids from our home country. A wise government decision, finally. We immersed ourselves in the notion of touching and imparting knowledge on young minds. What can be more noble right? And we did feel we would do it for the right reasons, not to glorify ourselves in any case. We agreed on numerous levels that educators were under appreciated. Not only in the country we hailed from, but many a countries. In a blink of an eye, education can be taken for granted. And with a deep rooted regret, it usually is.

The conversation brought back fond memories of the time when I spent 2 months as a substitute English teacher for my former primary school after a spur of the moment decision of deciding to apply for a job before my first year of tertiary studies. And that experience is always a testament and a solid reminder that the best things in life are not materialistic things.

I remember vividly that first day. Somehow, the large iron gates did not seem as big, nor as tall. Stepping past them did not seem as daunting either. The children, enough said. I could sense that my presence, not being much older than them yet standing at the front with the other teachers, piqued their curiosity to no end. Here I was, evidently the youngest teacher at the time, having no experience dealing with a class full of hormone driven, bursting with energy kids. They probably sensed my fear. I had truckloads of it to spare. Amidst the fear, I had hoped that my innate eagerness to please and impart the pittance of knowledge I felt I possessed at the time shone through. Rest assured, I'm much more comfortable in my own skin now. The knowledge is still questionable. That is for another time.

And the first advise the other teachers gave to me was not to smile when I entered the classroom. Strange? I definitely thought so. Apparently, I looked too sweet. Not to sound narcissistic in any way of course. I knew that I was an easy target if I showed I was a pushover for a teacher. And it was tough, to be tough. Needless to say, I failed miserably on the first thing I was not suppose to do. To smile.

The kids, on some days, were hard to control. I cannot even begin to lie. Teaching to me, never was a problem. It was the part of making sure they understood, to question if they did not, to pay attention and with diligence, finish their homework that was the tricky bit. To show me the respect I deserved as a teacher, first and a friend, second. Some days were hell, but for the most part, it was blissfully easy. They were adorable to say the least. And most of them listened to me at least, even those that were a little difficult to handle would eventually begrudgingly do so.

In retrospect, it was the small things they did, with open hearts, not expecting anything in return that I remember them most for. The moment I stepped past the school gates with my mountain of books, not less than four of my students would run up to me offering to carry them to the staff room. Mind you, they were eager to do it. The older boys, I still remember were sometimes cheeky. Asking about my personal life. And in good nature, I enjoyed the attention, and threw back the nonchalant answers I knew they wanted to hear, to get a giggle out of them. The way they called me 'Teacher Sara', in their cutesy little voices. I think at the time, the hardest part for me was to be stern. I tried, failed, and tried again. It wasn't easy, and the days where you regret giving them that first smile were many, making you want to pull out every single strand of hair. But you learn with time, things happen for a reason and sometimes, the hurdles you go through make you a stronger person.

When it came time for me to bid farewell, I could quote the infamous line that parting was such sweet sorrow. And they seemed genuinely sad I was leaving. I felt it too. My one regret was not taking a picture with them. I can't recall my reason for not doing it. I really can't. I suppose a mental image would have to suffice.

I left the school four years ago. And the best part? Recently, an ex-student, sent me a message asking if I remember them. And with ever good nature unabashed boldness, he says that he misses me and the old days when I used to teach them. That feeling, of knowing you made such an impact, cannot be described in mere words. Its a testimony that you were not a sheer subject in someone's life. You meant something. And you can kid yourself, or maybe not, that each kid has ingrained a poignant memory of you. Hey, if that thought gets you through a hard day, it never killed anyone.

I've reached a conclusion that no matter what, I would be most happy if I knew I was being remembered for something worthwhile. For posterity's sake, I hope I did leave a good impression on those bright young minds. And I won't delude myself into thinking each kid remembers me. Even on days when I wish the world was more my idealistic world, I am pragmatic to a certain extent. But being pragmatic doesn't mean a girl can't dream.

A subtle difference

2011-04-29T09:19:00.001+10:00

Woke up to read this funny little blog post from 2006. Somehow, I find I sometimes fall into the habits and characteristics of the other gender. But how will I survive without my daily planner I will never know. A good, easy read. Enjoy!

Chore Cloud- One Difference Between Men and Women.

Blessed Easter.

2011-04-24T09:21:00.000+10:00

I've staggered, wavered, doubted in my faith. I've rejoiced, embraced, glorified in my faith too. And it was because of You. I just need reminders now and then that no matter how many daunting, crushing obstacles come my way, I'll hold my baton high and race to the finish line. Because You suffered much more than I could ever fathom or repay. Thank YOU for your ever bountiful love and saving grace :D

On slowing down and childhood ambitions

2011-04-19T15:44:00.006+10:00

You know, I can't remember the last time I didn't feel like I needed and wanted to grow up. I suppose, partly being my fault, I never gave much thought to the decisions I had to make when I eventually come to that proverbial crossroad. Somehow, being 22 seems like a herculean task already. However, right now, I feel as if I never had enough time on my playground. During my quieter days here in Melbourne, when work and social gatherings have not sucked up my time, I'm left with my myriad thoughts, each one bouncing off the other at a speed I can't quite follow yet alone catch up to- trying to steal as much room in my head as it can possibly attain.

And in all honesty, I've never been capable of compartmentalizing my thoughts and prioritising them. Somehow or rather, each passing thought would make its judicial stand, put its best foot forward and dominate my brain space to no extent. I'd usually find that as soon as one finishes, another seemingly bright idea plonks down, sometimes even pushing its way in, mid-thought. By the end of the day, I'm usually left with a convoluted mess of ideas and mixed feelings, never quite sure what was the last significant cogitation. I might get these bombard of ideas sporadically, but when it decides to charge in, I eventually hoist my white flag, signalling a sound defeat.

Among one of the many lazy afternoons with just my thoughts to keep me company, I remember thinking how life is notoriously peculiar - never going in the direction you thought it would. Plans get derailed and young dreams that seem so possible way back then are now somehow laced with a tinge of regret and reduced to somewhat wishful thinking. I vividly remember a time when I was a young primary school student of 12 and we were asked in one of the many 'motivational' seminars to list our 3 ambitions or 'cita-cita'. Back then, we weren't encouraged to think outside of the box. Ambition during that time to a young, impressionable kid was what you wanted to be when you grew up. And lo and behold, its not a surprise even to me now that I would almost always instantaneously jot down: 1)Doctor, 2)Lawyer, 3)Teacher.

Not that those speakers ever gave even a second glance at my ambitions on paper. They would never encourage you to do otherwise anyway. If I had known back then, I would have written:

1)Write a book
2)Find a cure for cancer
3)Make a difference in someones life

But well, thats for another blog post (hopefully!). I digress. As always. Anyway, what I wanted to get to was that I distinctively remember this one significant time out of the numerous 'forms' I filled out that I actually wrote: 1) Journalist, 2)Doctor, 3)Lawyer. Surprised? For the life of me, I can't remember what was my motivation back then to even think of it. And mind you, I tried to write journalist in the Malay language. I've scratched my head long enough with fingernails that are a little too long but I really have not even a semblance of memory where my inspired self came up with wanting to be a journalist.

My point is, back then, becoming a journalist was possible. It was not a childish dream of sorts. I remember being inspired to write, to impart my words of wisdom for the world to marvel at (whatever few words I could conjur up, keke), my dreams tethered to the foundations of my life at the time. And then, like everything else, reality reveals its sometimes unwanted head. People tell you that journalists don't earn money, that being an esteemed doctor would. And on and on. Thinking about it now, I can't blame myself for giving up so easily on those whimsical dreams. It wasn't hard at the time, being easily swayed.

I often wonder what had happened if I had not been so naive to a certain extent and chased that dream. Maybe, just maybe, I could be a writer now :) I am not going to say that I would never be able to become one though. Life has dealt me a deck of colourful cards, each with its own story to tell. Who would have thought that a girl who once dreamed of being a writer ended being a finance graduate who is now working as a receptionist and dental nurse. I have been a teacher and even done voice overs before.Yup, you read that right. It is funny how many different roads I have experimented with. Jack of all trades, master of none? Heh. I'm quite amazed myself.

While I sometimes muse and charge myself for not sticking to childhood dreams of becoming a writer, I find some reprieve in writing here on this blank canvas that is my blog. Its something I can do for now while I thread on vicious waters that come in the form of haughty immigration rules and companies that won't give this fille a break or five just because she doesn't have her permanent residency. Sometimes, it can be so hard to maintain a blithe nature amidst the heaps of rejection emails that I can now donate in every format you wish.

As I am writing this, a million things are running through my mind. They vary from what to wear to work tomorrow, dinner on Sunday with the girls, how much weight I have gained, apply for jobs!, catch up with a good friend.....the list is endless and extensive to say the least. It's exhausting. I rest my case.

Balancing precariously on a tightrope.

2011-04-12T17:07:00.006+10:00

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" asked Alice.
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

I'm here, right now. Stranded in a place I don't quite know yet, much less come up with a name for it. I'm on that ephemeral platform, waiting for the train that never quite took of in the direction I thought I would be heading. Life is funny that way. Plans change, never to be set in stone, and bad news never had good timing.

In retrospect, I can't blame myself for it all. Growing up in a culture where grades meant everything and born with the need to conform, I did. I studied to stay ahead with my peers. I scored. And it took me 16 years of my life to figure out that maybe it wasn't all its cracked up to be. Now, all those times spent waking up at those ridiculous hours to mug those books, seems frivolous in some way, reduced to a measly piece of paper that lies in a paper bag on my bedroom floor.

Graduation, only slightly more than 3 months ago, seems like a hazy, distant memory from another life. The feeling of graduation is a mixed one. I suppose I always imagined I'd feel a bit more of a sense of accomplishment. Feelings are tinged with a slight regret, having not turned out to be that great, well-read scholar that our society looks upon. Having said that, I do take some pride in braving those 9am lectures with my saving grace cup of coffee and sitting through 3 hour exams with questions that still confound me. The dream of that fille walking down the prestigious halls of Ivy League universities has been reduced to just that, a dream. But hey, it's still a dream. And one day, maybe.

I suppose, if I am being truly honest with myself, I did expect more from the University that enthralled so many young prospective scholars like myself. I expected I would love to spend my time on the vast lawns, under trees, revising my notes before lectures. I did to a certain extent enjoy my time spent on the hundred and fifty year old campus grounds but quickly got caught up with the life outside the four walls of tutorial rooms and lecture halls. My deepest friendships were formed outside those walls, lessons I will retain for life came by chance from interacting with the people around me. Though I did meet tutors that captivated my attention in classes, they were few and far in between those that did not. For those significant few, I am grateful for.

So as I wait for the winds of change to blow me in the right direction, I am taking this time to truly reflect on where I want to be. Somehow, I'm determined to find that sense of accomplishment that I feel is worthy to boast about. Though the academic pursuits of my life have left me without a clear direction, I have to give special mention that I have been happy with my time spent in the land down under.

For all my rantings and fickle mindedness, I have to admit that Melbourne has changed me for the better. People have commended on it! And I concur with that. It has led me to opportunities I would never have dreamed of, crossing paths with people I never thought imaginable. I think at least this deserves a pat on the back.

Work currently takes up part of my time here. Having difficulty finding a relevant full time job is beginning to take its toll as my over ambitious self tries to succeed on her own without the plan B of daddy's pocket. And sometimes, temptation kicks in and I find myself straying from my initial plan just because the other road is so much easier to take. Its hard and I fight it everyday to keep myself in check.

For all its worth, if I have to eventually hail back from where I came from, I will not be disappointed. Being over protected at home has made me appreciate the discipline and independence I have gained by living by myself for the past few years. And until I decide what I really want in this temporary life on earth, I will continue to be thankful for every little blessing or disappointment that comes my way.

"I don’t much care where--" said Alice.

"Then it doesn’t matter which way you go," said the Cat.

"--so long as I get SOMEWHERE," Alice added as an explanation.
"Oh, you’re sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

One of those days.

2011-04-11T23:41:00.000+10:00

If it had to happen, it had to happen.

It can get so much worse, right?

Yeah well.

Too many good days. One bad one won't kill me. There are worse things.

So I am going to be thankful to Him that no matter what, come what may, I'm still alive and breathing.

New day tomorrow. Smile and the world will smile back. Or smirk.

Can't put a price on this.

2011-04-07T08:26:00.000+10:00

Once in 16 years.

2011-04-01T08:04:00.001+11:00

Haven't chopped off so much hair since I was in kindergarten.

But I like it :) Maybe its just that push I need to try out new things.I'm on a roll! :D

Hello world!!

Hmm smile.

2011-03-24T18:37:00.004+11:00

“ Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.

— Elizabeth Gilbert

Photos courtesy of Lovequotesrus.

Serendipity

2011-03-24T18:36:00.000+11:00

Because I love the word :)

So maybe I was too quick to judge the long hours it takes me to get to work these days. I'm sure things can get much worse. And I should be glad it hasn't happened to me.

I love the fact that bus drivers always ask if I need a full fare or concession ticket. Do I look like I am playing dress up? Heh.

I love the way people are so much more pleasant in the suburbs.

I hope my spoken Engrish is improving from conversing with more locals.

People are nice. Period. One patient even listened to my rantings. I'm sure he didn't sign up for it when he entered the clinic. Hoho.

Life so far has been kind.

I recommend a daily dose of Ingrid, Mindy and Regina Spektor to keep oneself happy.

“ I’ve always thought people would find a lot more pleasure in their routines if they burst into song at significant moments.

— John Barrowman

Why you should date a girl who reads.

2011-03-20T13:34:00.001+11:00

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

By Rosemarie Urquico

Nightmare with a twist.

2011-03-17T09:20:00.000+11:00

I had a nightmare that I went for a buffet dinner and forgot I wasn't supposed to have sweets. And I ate a lot of frozen yoghurt. Oh the shameeee.

Yes, it was a nightmare in this context.

Lent. And updates.

2011-03-14T10:42:00.000+11:00

Lent is here. Being a person who has never once in her life kept a new year's resolution, I'm thinking 40 days out of 365 should be a start don't you think? I think you think it's a start too.

My lent sacrifice?

Sweets and anything dessert related. No more frozen yoghurt how caaaaan!?

Oh help me, it's so much harder than I thought it would be. Friends, I love you and all but still! I'm determined to succeed. Unless the circumstances require me to break it. 90% accomplishment is still an accomplishment right?

Who am I kidding? :S

Ok ok, looking at recent pictures now to motivate and psyche myself to lose weight at the same time.

Sometimes, I wish I was born a guy. But then, I would be forced to give up my Tony B shoes. And they are just too pretty to give up. Ok God, I take that back. You know You created me to be a fickle fille.

New fone. Suka.

2011-02-24T23:01:00.003+11:00

SO in love with the new BB :)

Its been a while.

Another beginning.

2011-02-19T09:56:00.000+11:00

New bed tonight. Enough said.

Sometimes you just want a home. Give me the strength to persevere. To live the dream, come what may.

I miss the family. Sigh. But chin up, we'll make it through.

Everything you do it sends me higher than the moon

2011-02-14T18:53:00.000+11:00

Another chance? The world seems brighter :)

God is good.

Another roadblock.

2011-02-11T17:09:00.000+11:00

If it has to end, it has to end. Can't be greedy can I?

I know You have greater plans for me. And you do know this little fille is eternally grateful for everything.

Life changed for the better.

Maths, science, history, unravelling the mystery.

2011-01-21T11:22:00.001+11:00

Something about it screams genuine happiness. I like :)

The Big Bang Theory is love. Congrats to Jim Parsons :)

Giddy.

2011-01-13T07:48:00.000+11:00

I Do Adore
Mindy Gledhill

Everything you do it sends me
Higher than the moon with every
Twinkle in your eye
You strike a match that lights my heart on fire

When you're near, I hide my blushing face
And trip on my shoelaces
Grace just isn't my forte
But it brings me to my knees when you say

Hello, how are you, my darling today?
I fall into a pile on the floor
Puppy love is hard to ignore
When every little thing you do, I do adore

Weâ€™re as different as can be
Iâ€™ve noticed youâ€™re remarkably relaxed
And Iâ€™m overly uptight
We balance out each other nicely

You wear sandals in the snow
In mid-July I still feel cold
Weâ€™re opposites in every way
But I can't resist it when you say

Chorus

Finding words, I mutter
Tongue-tied, twisted
Foot in mouth, I start to stutter
Ha, ha, Heaven help me

Chorus

We marched around our share of Jericho.

2011-01-10T10:25:00.000+11:00

I just can't seem to luck out. Le sigh.

I need to find my own Central Perk. Coffee makes me blissfully happy. Don't rain on my parade please.

Give our love to Peter Pan.

2011-01-05T09:20:00.002+11:00

Some songs just make you feel all tingly inside. Listening to this song makes me feel like the last chocolate sprinkle on a sundae. Or vanilla ice cream in a rootbeer float :) The small pleasures in life make me happy.

Another 365 days and counting.

2011-01-01T10:09:00.000+11:00

New Year's Resolution: To keep last year's resolution. Heh. For the life of me, I can't remember what I resolved to do. I'm thinking eat less and study more diligently.

Hoho. Looks like I'm not gonna be studying again anytime soon. Somehow, nothing really prepares you for the feeling of graduating. Sure, I'm glad I did the whole movie star for a day routine. But I don't feel any different. I should, shouldn't I? After all, I'm a graduate. I'm currently ready to get back to a more serious routine. Or at least fill my time with things other than sitting in my bed all day and watching dramas.

Exercise. Oh how I have abandoned you. But please let me fit back into those pants. PLEASE. It's been burning hot in the land down under. And mum says I'm dark as it is already. So bothersome. But I would really like not to get skin cancer. Or sunspots at least :P

I'm thinking, do something to impact someone's life this year. Even in the smallest way. I got 364 days ey? I'll let you know next year if I succeed. Cross fingers, toes, arms and legs. And a little prayer goes a long way. After all, wouldn't be as blessed as I am now if it weren't for Him.

Happy New Year everyone. Let this 2011 year be a great one for all of us!!

Ladeedeedum.

2010-12-23T08:13:00.000+11:00

Graduated...Now what?

I'm sooo confused. I need a shining light. A spotlight will help.

Merry Christmas everyone. I'll be in Aussie for a while so don't be a stranger if you guys plan to stop by in Melbourne. I hope you guys have a lovely Christmas :)

I loathe bugs.

2010-12-08T15:30:00.001+11:00

I didn't sleep in my bedroom last night.

I slept at 5am in the living room.

Because. I wanted to.

Nyeheh.

Alright alright...... there was a huge grasshopper in my room and I couldn't catch it so I just could not sleep. Add in the other flying thing around my room and I rest my case.

I loooooathe the bugs.

Everyone needs a reason to smile :)

2010-12-03T08:53:00.000+11:00

Unpredictable weather.

Fever.

Sore throat.

Flu.

But there still is a reason to smile today :) Praise the Lord!

Bedtime lullaby. Goodnight.

2010-12-02T00:18:00.002+11:00

The hills are alive
With the sound of music
With songs they have sung
For a thousand years

The hills fill my heart
With the sound of music
My heart wants to sing ev'ry song it hears

My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds
That rise from the lake to the trees
My heart wants to sigh like a chime that flies
From a church on a breeze

To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls
Over stones on its way
To sing through the night
Like a lark who is learning to prey

I go to the hills
When my heart is lonely
I know I will hear
What I've heard before

My heart will be blessed
With the sound of music
And I'll sing once more

Just a simple girl trying to change the world.

2010-11-22T16:56:00.001+11:00

What's it like to live life with such passion. I marvel at you who can do that. To be so strong-willed about issues close to your heart. You, who live life knowing exactly what you want to accomplish. And at such a young age too. Hats off to you. And I always feel blessed every time these kind of people cross my path. For although I am not ready to be as passionate about social issues as you are, I thank God you have made me feel like I can be a better person. Lets start with not wasting food and water shall we?

It's a good day.

Be the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi

What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise.

2010-11-20T10:25:00.002+11:00

21 years.

It's coming to the year end again and even as I relish in the thought of growing another year older (not) and wiser (please), I get the old feelings of reminiscence again. Mistakes I've made. The things I can't change but can learn from. Mistakes others have made.

It's one of those milestone stepping stones you know? I'm all out for small stepping stones. But sometimes you come to more important crossroads. They come eventually. And like it or not, we all gotta face them. Like it or not.

And as much as I love taking one day at a time, I can't help worrying about the future. It's still hazy. Even after all this time. I love clarity. I guess it comes with the package of growing up and not wanting someone else to tell you what to do.

Am I ready? Are you? This is what slogging all those hours on studies have prepared us for. You better be. Well, I better be anyway. Hold your head high, girl. Never compromise your virtues and what you morally believe is right. One confident foot in front of the other. And, be a little thick skin. Cause the world is going to throw stones at you. People are not going to like everything about you. It's so hard to please the world. 6 billion people. Impossible in fact. Even the treasured loved ones.

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."
— Bob Marley

It's hard, but it's life. Oh boy is it hard.

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise
- The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe

But I am open to listen. I don't always have to agree. But I'll listen. And do my best not to be judgmental. I promise. I'm not as street smart as I wish I am to refute every view. But, I can learn. If you are willing to teach. And not judge me in the process.

For the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
- The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe

I'm young. But not stupid. My gut is still in tact. A little naive. But somehow, I rather be naive than bitter.

"I don't always know the right thing to do, Lord, but I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you."

Amen to that.

Life as it is.

2010-11-17T17:39:00.001+11:00

Freedom never felt so good. I'll be sad to leave uni life but feeling so exhilarated right now. Watch our world.

Crossing every possible limb of my body to find a job.

And some prayers to Him :)

I've come so far and I do believe it's something to be proud of. I'll make You proud. Watch me roaaaar!

You just need Bon Jovi

2010-11-14T05:41:00.000+11:00

I'm a sucker for any cover of Living On a Prayer. But I must say, bias aside, this mash-up makes me wanna be a rock star.

Morning laughs.

2010-11-07T09:41:00.001+11:00

He can have some of mine for free :)

Queen of anything baby.

2010-11-02T20:43:00.005+11:00

So, a friend sent this to me some time ago. He felt the need to add that he wasn't a stalker and he found this by chance. Haha.

But, you know, through hard times, come rain or shine, I'll come out stronger than I can ever hope to be. Because I have Him. Aren't I a lucky fille? Bow down and kiss my toes cause I can be the queen of anything.

Have I come a long way?

2010-11-02T09:53:00.004+11:00

I was looking through some of my blog posts from 2006. Nostalgia on high alert. I might just cry. I might. Guess what I found?

I want no regrets,
When I look back on my life,
At all the things I've done,
I don't want to see a girl looking all forlorn saying,
" What have I become? ".

I want no regrets,
When I look at my friends of long,
At all the things they have done and seen,
And turn to myself and think,
That could have been me.

I want no regrets,
When I look back on the things of the past,
At my actions and words I never meant but said,
I wish to learn now and not repeat,
From all the immature mistakes that I've made.

I want no regrets,
Even when I don't always make,
The right choices in life,
God knows I've done my best,
So I can look back and say " It's alright".

I want no regrets,
Even when the road I take,
May make life seem unbearable at times,
I know the right choices ain't always easy,
So faith in God and stubborn pride
will carry me through such hard times.

I want no regrets,
When my decisions in life,
Cause opportunities to pass me by,
When one door closes, another opens,
So I just won't sit around and cry.

So right now as I walk thorough this life,
I'll strive to do my best,
In the years to come I'll look back and say,
" I had no regrets ".

*You know you are lazy when you start to recycle old posts. But these are classics yo.

Entertain me please with something witty.

2010-11-01T23:23:00.005+11:00

I'm so bored.

Why people don't send stupid chain mail to me anymore? I know I said I despised them but I am bored shitless right now and I need something else to read. Right, I should pick up a book.

I have resorted to send old stupid chain mail from my hotmail account to my gmail account. I know you think I am such a sad case now. Even I pity myself. Life of a recluse student when exams draw near.

Nada Cambiara Mi Amor por Ti

2010-10-31T17:13:00.004+11:00

Since it is a Sunday and I'm tired of reading my journals, I'll update yet again.

The Spanish language..... is sexy. Nada Cambiara Mi Amor por Ti has been on replay since morning.

Oh, I am digging my own grave and I know it by wishing too much here. Is it too much to ask for someone who speaks Spanish to sweep me off my feet? I know French is like the love language and all but Spanish songs are just..........ear-gasmic.

What do you think?

2010-10-31T14:42:00.002+11:00

Is it true? Is it?

I sometimes wonder if it is. I may deny it all I want but there is always this flicker of doubt every time I think about it.

I'm sure deep down, it's fear. Fear for the unknown. To take the first step and open up. That's why I feel that I am quite good at keeping my emotions in check. And... sometimes I believe I have trust issues. I'm too independent for my own good sometimes.

And so what if my walls are high. They are my walls and I'll build them as high as I want to.

Not a happy camper.

2010-10-31T09:45:00.001+11:00

I ran out of fruits. Not happy. Market only opens on Tuesday. Bother.

Time for church.

Random Fact #4

2010-10-30T19:40:00.005+11:00

I love strawberries. Buy me a box and make me happy.

I despise strawberry sweets, cakes, ice cream, perfume (I kid you not, have actually tried it before), icing, pudding, drinks, etc etc.

Yes, I do not like anything strawberry flavoured.

PS: Exceptions apply. I have mood swings 8456386826328 times a day.

***

Random Fact #3

2010-10-28T20:27:00.002+11:00

So I did not forget this random facts stuff. Just been a little busy. I'm going to be a graduate soooooooon. It's all so final now. More on that later.

Anywho, random fact #3.

I'm a fickle for good grammar. I realise I feel this slight hint of annoyance every time someone writes or types out something that is not grammatically correct. But it passes in a split second. I'm not saying I'm the best, but come on. It's like Grammar for Idiots 101. I make mistakes too okay, I'm not saying I don't. Then again, the 'Manglish' probably killed good English Language for our country. Go figure.

Example: You're = You are. 'Your' does not mean you are.

So the wandering mind...

2010-10-21T17:30:00.001+11:00

King Of Anything.

2010-10-19T21:34:00.004+11:00

The weird people/spammers who keep commenting on my chatbox is getting pretty annoying. Not apologising if you are one of them. I stand my ground.

I realise something. Its a trend. Dang. The nerdy cute kind is love. Indeed. Teeheeeeee.

Okay, back to revision. Going out with a bang remember?

Procrastination.

2010-10-07T09:24:00.001+11:00

I Won't Regret This. Teeheeeeee.

2010-10-04T22:25:00.005+11:00

My childhood was filled with Calvin and Hobbes, Archie and Garfield comics. I miss them.

I don't know what life would have been like without them honestly. The most genuine laughters maybe from those times.

"You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats."
Heheh. I love Hobbes.

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

"For a mom, sometimes she's pretty cool."

I'm contemplating this when I have kids :D

"You squeeze my tears out."
Amidst the laughter and mischief, there comes a time when you never expect a comic to pull at your heartstrings. That's why Calvin and Hobbes is one of the best to me.

"It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw."

I loved Suzie :) Sorry this one might be small. Click on the strip to read it. Please don't kill those pretty eyes of yours.

"You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system."

Enough said.

Ahhh. Sweet memories. Courtesy of Mr. Watterson . You da man.

I miss it already.

2010-10-04T20:43:00.002+11:00

I've had an awesome 2 week break. Truly and so deeply blessed. Of course, the pockets have been singed just a little bit. Alright, I lie. A lot. But I'll be more thrifty from now on yes? But so many birthdays coming up! Macam mana? I'll survive on oats for a while. I shaaaaalllll. Not that I don't need to loose that extra weight anyway. Bother.

I'm a tad lazy to post pics right now. As always. But Facebook is there for you. Just...don't stalk. It's scary :) Hehehe. And no comments on weight whatsoever. I can't promise to be nice.

For now, I just need to get my act together and prepare for the final hurdle of uni life. Cheer me on to go out with a bang, yes? You'll be rewarded with my gratitude and lollies. In whatever colour you fancy :)

A Penny For My Thoughts

2010-09-24T09:51:00.001+10:00

Don't tell me I am bias towards country music. I know it.

:(

2010-09-18T23:40:00.002+10:00

Maybe it's punishment for being careless.

I need to find that key.

Help?

So You Would Come

2010-09-13T18:59:00.000+10:00

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

-Hillsong United

Break Your Heart

2010-09-11T00:03:00.001+10:00

Yes, I'm alive.

No, I am not seeing anyone.

I was just busy. Sorry.

Thanks for asking. I hope I didn't disappoint.

Heh. Love.

Too cute.

2010-09-06T08:28:00.003+10:00

You are my sweetest downfall. Love her voice.

Random Fact #2

2010-09-01T09:14:00.003+10:00

Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts will never get old. Sing it for me and win my heart. I'll be putty in your hands :)

The only good thing that came out of this movie. Note the old couple. Makes me smile.

ps: For added effect, strum that guitar :)

How not to fall in love?

2010-08-27T08:03:00.003+10:00

C, we're the stalker of the stalker of Taylor Swift. Heh. I kid. But now we know who will win our hearts :) We need a reality check.

Waiting On An Angel

2010-08-22T18:03:00.005+10:00

My latest of a long list of loves. I need to stop falling for guys with guitars. It's not good for me.

Life Explained

2010-08-21T02:21:00.001+10:00

And Smile

2010-08-15T21:59:00.000+10:00

"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,

Love like you'll never be hurt,

Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth."
— William W. Purkey

Random Fact #1

2010-08-12T20:08:00.005+10:00

Since I am constantly racking my brain for things to blog about other than rants when the exam and assignment season comes, I'm going to start this new Random Facts About Me series or whatchamacallit. Stay tuned.

Random Fact #1

I love M&M's. Only the plain milk ones though. And the one with the biscuit on the inside :) Love much. I usually hate milk chocolate as I am a dark chocolate girl, (yes, the darker the better ;D ) but I can't help but love my M&M's. Childhood love that never died. But I've matured okaaaay. I no longer fight for the orange coloured M&M's.

At Dinner

2010-08-10T20:42:00.002+10:00

Boy: I like ice cream.

Girl: Me too!

Boy: And I like chocolate.

Girl: Ditto.

Boy: I just....don't like them together. I hate chocolate ice cream.

Girl: *laughs* Too adorable.

Snippets.

2010-08-07T01:49:00.002+10:00

I just like.

One day.

Some things are too cute to boot.

I do not own the photos.

I like.

2010-08-05T10:51:00.002+10:00

Can you guess?

1. Go hang a salami. I'm a lasagna hog.

2. Do geese see God?

3. Was it Eliot's toilet I saw?

4. Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?

5. A nut for a jar of tuna.

6. Dennis and Edna sinned.

7. Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo

8. A man, a plan, a canal: Panama!

9. Ana, nab a banana.

10. Borrow or rob?

11. Vanna, wanna V?

12. We panic in a pew.

13. Never odd or even.

14. Madam in Eden, I'm Adam.

15. Murder for a jar of red rum.

Give up? Visit here

Haengbok

2010-08-03T20:07:00.003+10:00

I said I needed inspiration. Last night I spilled water on my laptop. It died on me. And it was still dead this morning when I took it to the shop. Not saying my lappy doesn't need to be changed already but I really do not need the hassle of getting used to a new one in my final semester. Mainly cause I was also looking at the Macbook. White is pretty.

BUT ALLELUIA MY LAPPY WORKS NOW. But the backspace key is a little funky. Can't be helped.

I've been inspired alright. Can't put my finger on it but I feel changed. At least I'm more cautious now , yes? Technology hates me. This year at least.

Someday.

2010-08-01T21:49:00.000+10:00

I need inspiration. Badly.

You have no idea.

Boys and bugs

2010-07-26T16:29:00.003+10:00

How cute. Idealistic maybe, but a girl can dream.

"Boys and bugs" by Poema.

I like boys that like to smile
Laugh at themselves once in a while
That can sit and talk for hours
Then in the morning, pick me flowers

Boys that like to be very clean
That are never ever mean
And can tell a witty joke
Boys that do not like to smoke

One day, I'll find you (x4)

I like boys that aren't afraid of bugs
That will always give me big warm hugs
Like to sing and play guitar
That are happy being who they are

Boys that like to be outside
And that aren't full of pride
Boys that have an honest passion
With at least a slight hint of fashion

One day, I'll find you (x4)

I like boys that are funny and artistic
That are mostly optimistic
Boys that are not very lazy
A little weird, but not too crazy

Boys that aren't afraid to cry
And will always give a second try
And will try to do their best
I want a boy not like the rest

One day, I'll find you (x4).

Not just a typical city boy.

2010-07-25T17:34:00.004+10:00

Uni starts tomorrow. Happy happy joy joy. And I mean it.It's getting too boring at home. And I need to stop eating. Stupid sales on chocs.

Oh boooooooooy.

Why can't I have pinchable cheeks like her and still look so adorable and cute????!!! The world is unfair.

An Interview with God

2010-07-17T08:22:00.001+10:00

I dreamed I had an INTERVIEW WITH GOD.

“So, you would like to interview me?” GOD asked.

“If you have time,” I said.

GOD smile. “My time is eternity… what questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you the most about humankind?”

GOD answered…

“That they get bored with childhood, that they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money… and then lose their money to restore their health.”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”

“That they live as if they would never die, and die as though they had never lived.”

GOD’s hand took mine… and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked, “As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

GOD replied, “To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”

“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.”

“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”

“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply do not yet know how to express or show their feelings.”

“To learn that two people can look at the same thing, and see it differently.”

“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

“Thank you for your time,” I said humbly.

“Is there anything else you would like your children to know?”

GOD smiled, and said… “Just know that I am here.” “Always.”

-Author Unknown

Begin Again

2010-07-15T08:53:00.004+10:00

And here we go again.

Those 21 years seem short now. Come to think of it. I need a time machine. So I can go back to a few years and not wish I would be graduating soon.

To think I'll be graduating soon. I'm having a love hate relationship with it right now. If only applying for PR wasn't so insanely hard now, I'll gladly graduate and slog off at work.

I despise the indecisive nature of mine. To the bone. Study? Work?

The long journey ahead with infinite paths to take. Walk with me every step of the way. Please?

Missed me much?

2010-07-09T23:12:00.003+10:00

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK. Missed me much? Will update soon aite? Just a little tired now. Passed the semester ;) Not with excellent grades but I DID try my best anyway.

Currently hooked on Colbie Caillat - Begin Again.

:)

2010-06-26T09:29:00.002+10:00

Happy holiday guys! Its the time when friends from the UK, Malaysia and Aus actually have the same holiday period, give or take a few. Skype date soooooooon?

Dream a little dream of me

2010-06-19T08:13:00.004+10:00

Puzzled muzzled. Indeed.

I had a dream. No, seriously I did. It was sweet. I don't understand how you guys were in it just yet though. And I'm usually quite good at figuring out why certain people appear in my dreams. But for the life of me I can't understand this one. But nonetheless, the memory is fading. Like always. Did I mention this dream was sweet? :)

Childish girly fantasies as usual. Maybe it was the talk I had with P the other day that made me think of you guys again. Maybe.

Ah, what the heck. I'll be happy in my dreams.

My my, just how much I missed you.

2010-06-12T10:51:00.010+10:00

*Blogger is being a pain because I had to retype this post 3 times.*

Finally. When you thought the day will never come. I finally had a proper meal. No more instant oats, noodles or baked beans.

Then again, I'm always restless after exams. I don't know what to do. Everyone is busy. I guess it's because everyone still has papers and come to think of it, I do have one more as well. Bah! Humbug. Teehee.

But finally right. A much needed breather. I am grateful He has helped me come this far. When I thought I would never make it.Sometimes a little faith goes a loooooooong way.

So, since the hellish week ended with a BANG yesterday, I've been...watching dramas :) Heh. And Gleeeeee! I forgot to watch it on Thursday night! Even the roomie was thinking of knocking on my door to ask me why I wasn't watching it. Awwwwwh. But nah, was too stressed out for the paper the next day to watch anyway. Tis the life.

So far, the papers have been OKAY. Except yesterday's one. But I have faith as I have said.

*Yesterday while talking to E & Y*

S: What did you think of the paper?? So hard!

E: Yeah! Then I was soooooo freaking cold! (It is winter in Melbourne for you peeps who do not know). I couldn't even write properly. My hands were freezing.

S: Yeah but my place wasn't too cold though. Yesterday was colder. And I wasn't sitting near heaters either. Hmmm, were you cold Y? (Y was sitting next to me in the exam hall)

Y: The paper was so hard it made me 'hot' just doing it. No time to feel cold also.

S & E: *burst out laughing*

Heh. I love awesome friends that can make me laugh. Even after a hard paper.

I braved the 8 degrees weather to go out and buy breakfast this morning. Because if you know me well enough, not having breakfast makes me cranky. But you still love me :) Can't wait for all my breakfast dates next week! So anyway, my cupboards were empty except for instant oats and tea packets. Nil instant noodles even. Then again, the 6 packets I bought in... March lasted me this far. Don't laugh okay! I just don't eat much instant noodles.

Sometimes, I wish I didn't have so much time to think. Because it means I need to start thinking of what to do soon. Like, real soon. (I should be graduating at the end of the year.) I hate not having a clear direction. The future is so hazy. And Melbourne's early morning foggy weather is not to blame for this one. Study, work, bum? Ok, not bum. I hate being idle anyway. I guess I contradict myself more often than not. I don't like people telling em what to do but when they don't give me their two cents, I have no idea which direction to take. Should I follow my heart? Or head? Heart or head? I don't want to regret my decision. Grrr. And don't give me that BS that life is too short for regrets etc. This is my future. Not a decision about buying that pair of heels. But I'll make up my mind soooooooon. :)

The hols will be here soooon. I'm glad I have some holiday plans. Brissy and GC here I come. But for the rest of the time I should be in Melbourne. Missing the family :( But at least they are coming in Dec. Stupid expensive air tickets.

I hate being idle so HOPEFULLY there will be some part time work to slot into my planner and keep me busy. I have some next week thank goodness (voice recording and marketing runs if you didn't know). I can't bear the thought of being under house arrest because I need to study for ONE paper :C

Heh. So there you have it. The update. I blog best when I should be doing other things. On a last note..

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Here we go again

2010-06-07T20:11:00.001+10:00

I hate letting this vicious cycle of exam stress get to me every time the exam season comes and I feel the need to crawl into mummy's lap.

When will I ever grow up?

Coffee, my love.

2010-06-03T08:49:00.004+10:00

No, I shall not turn into a coffee addict. I shall nooooooooot.

Coffee is baaaaad.

Bad I tell you. Baaaaaaaaad. Turning into a sheep.

Do not succumb to the temptation.

Sigh. Denial is the first step to acceptance.

And a skinny flat white, no sugar please, always makes my day. Always.

Since I do not have a coffee maker...

*Walks to the kitchen for my instant coffee flavoured water*

When all is said and done.

2010-05-31T17:46:00.003+10:00

Weeeeeeeek...... SWOTVAC.

Dang! Where did the semester go.

One week baby. Bring it on.

I need my Boost :)

WEEK 11

2010-05-21T07:37:00.004+10:00

In the end, it all comes down to this. Pardon me. Exams are in 2 left corners and I have barely started to get in touch with my inner nerd self. Yes, contrary to popular belief, I do not study. I am currently rethinking my plan for the very near future and I need timeeeee. Cause I am such an indecisive brat.

Things are slowing down at least. I think. My planner does not have crazy amount of dates/meetings to attend anyway. Which is good for the moment but I realise that because of the hectic 3 months, I just can't stay put for long now. And I talk faster. Hoho. I blame it on work.

Just a gist: (because I should be mugging my books now)

AGM is over. Forms to fill in :( But am ecstatically happy for the new committee :)

Got a part time job. Pay is not too bad and as long as it doesn't take up too much of my time, its all good.

I need to cram a whole semester's worth of studies in 2 weeks. Lord, help me. I try okaaaay.

Going for Fame the Musical for FREEEEEEE. That's right, loathe me :) Heh.

Just received 500 bucks to spend on anything. Yup, ANYTHING. Which I already spent some on shopping. C.O.N.T.R.O.L. Sara.

I need to sew my mouth shut. Eating too much.

I'm not so confused anymore. It feels awesome to finally see clearly for a change :) And Lord, you know I have you to thank for.

On a last note, I am really going to miss my committee. Working with them is bitter sweet :) More sweet than bitter. And I would never have it any other way.

Dancing Through Life

2010-05-10T21:25:00.004+10:00

If only we all could right?

In the mean time, I'll fawn over Fiyero :D

Aaron Tveit is love.

First noticed him in Gossip Girl and recently found out he sings as well!!!!!! Can he be more perfect? :D Plus he was in Wicked and Hairspraaaaay. Bliss.

In all honesty, I think Adam Lambert has an awesome voice for Fiyero's role too. But no, I do not like him now. But it doesn't change the fact that he makes a good Fiyero :)

Here I Go Again.

2010-05-08T09:27:00.003+10:00

Just because I feel a little narcissistic now. Here you go A, the DIY fringe.

Photos were taken pre and post Mamma Mia : The Musical.

Ah, life is good for the most part. I've got a month to start cramming for finals. Add in the last few assignments and the part time work and life couldn't get anymore busy. But I like busy compared to idle for the moment. Till next time.

-S

Snip snap

2010-04-24T23:26:00.003+10:00

PMS is such a b*tch. I'm gaining weight from all that extra eating.

I cut my fringe today. Because I felt like it. I've been feeling off these few days. I woke up this morning with the urge for the fringe and since getting a haircut here costs me an arm or a leg, I decided to do it myself. Heh. I think I might have over done it. Whoops. In my defense, its my first time but there is just something extremely calming of taking control of those scissors and snip snapping the hair. Its not horrible. i can still show my face in public if I haven't been scaring enough people already. But it might be a bit short. I'll let you be the judge.

Once again, PMS is a pain in the ass. I'll go for a jog tomorrow. I need it.

2010-04-21T21:51:00.000+10:00

I hate PMS. It makes me eat.

I like. Bite me.

2010-04-14T08:15:00.003+10:00

I'm a happy sap. Because I still believe in childhood innocence.

*Photos/posters by Kim Anderson. Visit her here.

Yes, you don't have to tell me twice.

2010-04-13T22:11:00.002+10:00

I think I should sleep more. Before I start scaring people.

I should start making a poll of some sort to keep track of the number of people who tell me I look dead tired. If this keeps up, I won't need make up for Halloween this year :(

I'm Always Late.

2010-04-09T08:34:00.005+10:00

Blessed Easter!

With that said, this Easter has been one of the best so far. I count my little baby blessings everyday. To say the least, Easter Camp this year rocked my socks to the docks.

And You know for what reason :) Rejoice people! The song that really touched my heart. And will continue to do so.

Love Crucufied Arose

Michael Card

Long ago He blessed the earth
Born older than the years
And in the stall a cross He saw
Through the first of many tears
A life of homeless wandering
Cast out in sorrow's way
The Shepherd seeking for the lost
His life the price He paid

[Chorus]
Love crucified arose
The risen One in splendor
Jehovah's sole Defender
Has won the victory
Love crucified arose
And the grave became a place of hope
For the heart that sin
and sorrow broke
Is beating once again

Throughout Your life
you've felt the weight
Of what you'd come to give
To drink for us that crimson cup
So we might really live
At last the time to love and die
The dark appointed day
That one forsaken moment when
Your Father turned His face away

******

I've gone through so much and yet I can still find the strength to carry on. I am super woman. Hear me roar. Bow down and kiss my toes :P

For all my cracks, God still sent you guys down to watch over me. I love you my little angels. <3

I love awesome photography.

2010-03-29T21:34:00.004+11:00

I almost got this poster for my room. Me like. But I opted for the Audrey Hepburn one instead which I have always wanted as well. Maybe next time. How true can this get?

There's a point in life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but thats not giving up... Its realizing that you don't need certain people, the bullshit and the drama they bring. - Unknown

How true can this get?

1,2, step.

2010-03-27T09:22:00.008+11:00

I fell down.

And picked myself up again.

Laughing this time.

Because I know the bruises will eventually fade.

If lucky. No scars shall remain.

Yes, I literally fell down.

But life is full of it too.

With every fall, a million blessings will come. I'm sure of it.

Maybe they are right. I can't keep track of the number of people who have told me I look so tired,dead and that I need more sleep. I try. But I can't seem to change this inbuilt 7am wake up time biological clock. Regardless of my bedtime.

I need to open God's book of life for me. Because I have no idea what comes next and I don't like to make big life changing decisions. I don't want people to dictate my life but I just can't seem to fully figure out what I want. Maybe it is true. I over estimated my confidence level. Just maybe. But determined to change that. Because I can. Oh gosh, I AM fickle.

Guys may complain about the million and one things in life and why they have to dress up for that family dinner they didn't want to go for in the first place but knew they would be in deep shit with the folks if they didn't do it, but I'll concur with them on this one. Girls are complicated creatures. I certainly find myself hard to figure out at times. And definitely not afraid to admit it.

You know, I'm starting to wonder if it really does take another guy to solve a girl's guy problems. Not like the advise was original or anything. It just made the advise seem more possible. That there will always be sunshine after the rain. Even with Melbourne's gloomy weather these days. Or rather its PMS weather. Hot, cold, hot, cold. I like COOL. Sunny with the wind in your hair kind.

Sleep is a fleeting thing.

2010-03-23T08:12:00.004+11:00

I can't believe it's only been a month since I got back.

I'm mentally drained. My poor cerebrum can't take much more. Thats what you get when you try to be on top of ALL your subjects. I never had prior training before this. Because I never bothered to be on top of things then cram for finals. Woe is me.

BUT I am determined to enjoy what could possibly be my last year as a student(Oh no I am not ready,repeat NOT ready to go and work, please please don't make me). I'm looking at brighter days to come. Please sunshine.

Haven't spoken to a certain friend in ages and yet God sent the person with words for the soul. I can't thank you enough. I'll take your advice I promise but things are looking much clearer now. Dear friend, thank you. I owe you a drink when I get back :)

High time baby.

2010-03-20T22:37:00.003+11:00

I think its high time I went for that jog. It is waaaay overdue. When I can't fit into those shorts, I'll regret it so badly and I know it.

I need sleeeeeeep. But I'm such a slacker I can't help staying up to finish procrastinated work. I'm trying okaaaaay. And no, the dark circles have always been there. Ever since I was in high school. 2 assignments due every week and being the nerd that I am, I always want to score that high mark. I'm sorry if I'm acting like such a nerd. You obviously don't know me very well if you thought that. And honestly, I couldn't care less. I have enough love in this world as well as from above to be the contented little princess that I am. Uh-huh, bet you never knew I was a princess either. C:

I need Easter break to come. NOW. And my baybeh too. I need advice :( I'm so confused sometimes it scares me. But heck, I've been so busy these days, I'm thankful for the distraction away from personal problems. Oh I need to be a small kid again when boys had cooties and were icky. Life was so much simpler.

The right decision is not always the best one. The best decision is not always the right one. I'm thinking which one sounds better. Give me your two cents.

And you think you are so smart.

2010-03-17T22:03:00.002+11:00

I hate it when they say that. Yet, I can't say it to your face.

I'm such a coward. I really am too nice sometimes. I need to let it out I think. After all, the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind. End of story.

C:

2010-03-17T21:39:00.002+11:00

DONE. Lalalaalalaalaaa~

Assignments are making me go cuuuuuckoooooo.

p.s: I'm done editing my layout. NOT assignments :(

2010-03-14T19:39:00.003+11:00

In the process of updating the blog. I'll get there eventually. Patience is a virtue.

2010-03-14T09:27:00.001+11:00

Stupid weighing machine. You gave me false hope. I should break you.

Current tune: Acoustic version of Down by Jay Sean.

And when there is nothing left to say

2010-03-09T00:19:00.004+11:00

So everything that can go wrong, did. It would have been the crappiest weekend ever save the awesome company. But honestly, this is a test from God that I wouldn't want to go through again.

I'm so confused about what to do it scares the shit out of me. I really need that shining light right about now. If you can hear me.

I need to feel better. I really do. Melbourne, work your magic. Then again, I'm too busy to miss home now. I better get my nerd mojo back. Its only week 2 and I know nuts about what is going on.
I want to be a flower among the thorns of doubt and stress. I'll bloom one day. I will. Watch me.

Current tune: Love Me by Yiruma

Here You Go

2010-03-02T09:06:00.006+11:00

Well, here I am once again ready to write about things of the top of my head because I am the type of person that really doesn't plan what to write in advance anyway. Even for academic essays, I'm always spontaneous. Thats why I still thank God and count my lucky stars I managed to score that high band for IELTS.

I've officially moved in to the new place. Yup, after that almost 2 weeks of house hunting from abroad and here in the land down under, stress, anxiety, panic, lack of sleep, packing, etc etc etc, I've found the new place. At a cost of course. But feels good to have my own room once again. And an en-suite bathroom. The rent is over budget but haih. Desperate la. Pictures will be uploaded in due time. I need to clean up and attempt to make my room have an appearance of being worthy of my mum's 5 star rating. Which will probably take me the entire year. If not more. Heh.

Moving has been though. I concede.

But in all honesty, leaving home the 2nd time around was even harder. The first time was because I was excited to leave home. I really was. I didn't feel it then. Being independent is a nice feeling actually. I knew as soon as I got here it would get better. But leaving, thinking of leaving, waiting to get to the airport was hard. Of course it didn't help that I had not yet found a place to live and then my visa gave me a few problems as well because I had to update my passport.

But I'm thinking now that I just felt I did not spend much time with the family and friends this hols because I was busy working. But please don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed myself at work. Of course waking up at 6 am could be a something to whine about. But I won't. I'm seriously the luckiest intern ever. Kudos to my extremely nice bosses and work colleagues. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I even got a farewell lunch from big boss, small boss, all the bosses AND PRESENT. It's the prettiest pen you have ever seen loooor. I'm pretty sure I'm just a little spoiled, wanting to have the best of both worlds. *wanted to insert a picture here but refused to put one of miley cyrus because I don't want to/ like her voice but can't find other pictures*

This is the first time I ever felt like I missed home before I left it. But I'm here now. New year, new sem. Stop whining, Sara Kang. And as much as I miss home, I'm beginning to feel like Melbourne is once again growing on me. Being independent sure is a full time job. I miss mummy's pampering.

Classes have started and I'm back to running between them. Honestly, I BETTER lose some weight this year. I wanna look good in my graduation pictures OKAY. And keeping busy helps forget about missing home. Friends, I love you <3

Till next time,

Sara

Love, don't hate me

2010-02-18T13:15:00.001+11:00

I'm so sorry to have abandoned you.

Please don't get mad.

I'll update soooooon okay. Just trying to make do with my very limited time back here in Malaysia.

I don't feel like going back yeeeeet. Although I'm growing fat here.

Sigh.

Intern Smintern

2010-01-06T01:48:00.003+11:00

So, its been 3 weeks. Of interning that is. Haven't had too much hard work and no big datelines to meet or anything :) Which is good but sometimes I wish I had a more challenging job. But I understand why I can't do the more complicated stuff because I don't really have access to the systems they use. But hopefully one day I will be able to see it before I leave the place.

On the many plus sides, I've had good people to work with. All very friendly people and can really joke around making the place so much more fun to be around. Seriously I sit next to some jokers okay. Which is really what is needed.

The first week was kinda lonely as I am in nature a shy person and being a loner at times is what I do best. So yes, bookshops were my best friend before I left and it still is. But gone are those days cause well, I sudah buat kawan. *pats back* Hahahhaha. Sad case.

I also got present yo! See, life is goooooood :)

*************

You know, it was depressing hearing the news about the passing of a friend albeit not a close one. But I did go to his house for Christmas once those many years ago. And we did exchange a joke or 5 before as well. If the memory sticks, to me, it means you have made an impact on my short life on earth. And really, I have no idea if I could ever bear it if someone really close to me were to leave. Selfish, I know. But honestly, how do you deal with it? I mean, how do you accept the fact that a person with so much potential to has left us this way? The only consolation is that you are in a better place and right now. You'll be sorely missed by those closest to you. RIP Rajan.

You know you love me :)

2009-12-18T12:34:00.002+11:00

I've gained weight since I came home! NO NO NO. I refuse to reveal the actual amount. Its too embarassing. Not joking.

I am praying work will make me eat less and I don't get to nap as well. Oh yeah, I've started my internship at RBS Malaysia. ANYONE WORKING AT KLCC????? Call me for lunch yo :P So far work has been little cause I just started by its getting to the end of the year meaning more reports to hand in. Been baby steps ok? I'm learning :)

Updates will be sparse. I've lost the blogging mojo again. :(

Love from sunny Malaysia

2009-12-06T02:27:00.003+11:00

Its been almost a week. Me like :)

I've been eating, sleeping, shopping. Repeat x 100000.

But its all good :)

Updates later aite.

The last post from where I have been for the past 9 months

2009-11-28T07:11:00.002+11:00

So, I don't need to elaborate because well, you KNOW I have waited long enough for this day.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder. I can't wait to squeeze everyone back home. By squeeze I mean hug. But you intelligent people know that :)

Its been a good 9 months. I don't know what I did to deserve this good life. But rest assured, I am very grateful for it. No complains whatsoever.

I have not discovered Melbourne enough yet though!! Oh I will DEFINITELY do it more next year. Was just too fresh this year. EXCUSES I KNOW BUT TRUE WHAAAAT. :D

Resolutions for next year:

1. Beaches! Next year I mesti go. I didn't really go this year. No swimsuit :( But yes next yeeeeear.

2. Looooooose weight for graduation. MUST. Better stop before people say I am complaining about weight again. I'm a girl. A girly girl most of the time. Who likes pretty pretty dresses. And shoes. Bite me.

3. H1 for all subjects! I CAAAAAAAN. Don't think I so dumb dumb can? I know my grades this year have been nothing to boast about but give me a break or 5 la I was adapting to life here. Okay another excuse because I think I have settled in quite well here if I do say so myself :) I don't think I show it enough how much I miss home because people have been saying WHY do I want to go back right after exams. I am pretty sure they think I am very comfortable here. Which I am. In all honesty. Home is still home you know? :) That special feeling of always knowing that no matter how much you screw up, there will always be people who will love you for all your faults.

4. I shall add more when I can think of some. Currently wasting time because I am too lazy to pack things. BUT CANNOOOOT. I'm leaving tonight. Okay bye bye.

Gah I don't like packing. Oh sure I was dying to do it while I was having exams but now when it is actually here....okay I shall stop complaining cause there really is nothing to complain about is there?

Melbourne, you have been good to me. I'll be back next year :) Don't miss me!

God is good, all the time.

2009-11-24T17:03:00.002+11:00

*Grins*

One more baby.

Now I am lazy to pack. Geram-nye my mood swings.

But heck, I'll be home soon.

Don't miss me :)

7 days.

2009-11-21T16:42:00.003+11:00

So I got this from a friend.Yup, its that time of feeling stressed over exams again where words like these speak louder to the soul.

The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

And another fave f mine,

If He leads you to it, He will lead you through it.

Faith <3