Dawn of a new Malaysia

Saturday, May 12, 2018

As the world and Malaysia settle in to the fact that Malaysia was able to achieve what it once thought possible. a humble citizen like myself will take some time to reflect and remember that this day on the the 9th of May, I made that difference.

To greater days ahead for Malaysia. I am hopeful now that my kids and grand kids will have a chance of a brighter future.

One day, it will all make sense

Monday, March 31, 2014

Dear blog.

I'll update soon. Been doing some long awaited soul searching. Let's hope it pays off. Till then.

My little reminders

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

I'm almost there

For what its worth, I now know what I don't want in life. Silly me.
I'm almost there. I may not know where I want to be but I'll leave it in Your hands. Trials and tribulations, I've had my share. But I'm almost there.

Fight the good fight

Monday, May 06, 2013

7am.As a first time voter, I eagerly did my duty. I woke up early, put my game face on, braved the scorching heat for 2 hours before I was able to make my mark on the paper for our future. The future of the children I might have one day. For their children. Maybe, one day.

I don't kid myself. I was never  into politics and never had the stomach for it. But I, like so many of my fellow first time, doe-eyed voters got caught up in the election wave. Our generation, the new generation, went to vote for the first time.Blue ink fingers baby. No, I did not post my blue finger on facebook. But I am a proud voter. I voted for the change I wanted. The change that one day Malaysia will be a racial free country, that our skin colour and religious beliefs do not dictate and do not represent who we are as a person. 

You see, this isn't about the fact that BN won through obvious lies and deceit. It's not about PR losing yet again after the hopeful bersih-ing of the electoral system. This is about my dad.

My dad, was born here. He went through the same hardships, he tapped rubber in the mornings before going to school. He went to public school. He learned to speak the occasional Tamil words. He played football with his kaki bola. He makes the occasional racial joke. Because everyone does it. He is a Malaysian. And he is growing old. He turns 60 soon. And then he turns 65. And 70.

And like so many from his time, he wants a change. A change from the corrupted leaders of his time. Filtering his hard earned money for their own selfish gains. A change for a chance to see a better future for his kids. Yesterday marked another let down in his life time. Something he had miniscule control over. To see an old man look sad and resigned is something I never want to see again. He might never see the fruits of his labour in his time. The good fight he put in as a responsible citizen for his country. But he wants his kids to see it. The hope that one day, our government will be the government for the rakyat. So daddy, I voted for a change yesterday. It didn't win the overall election, but I'd like you to know it was for you. I want you to see change in your time. Because you deserve it.

I'm as idealistic as can be. I have hopes that the winning government will reform. And if they don't, we'll have another election in 5 years. I'll pray for you, my current government. Because you have a lot to do. The long journey ahead will be rough, but if you can prove us wrong, you will regain our trust. That shall be your biggest victory.

So let us not be sad. Not for long at least. Our work is cut out for all of us. Be the change we want to see in the world.

A smile.

Monday, October 01, 2012

You never know why people hurt you the way they can. Twist your fragile heart into a knot of confusion. Never knowing when it will be untangled. Or the creases that follow. Letting someone have that power to do just that is one scary feeling.

But, you know the person might just be worth the pain and suffering. After all, you hurt the ones you love most. Whatever happens, hold your head high, and smile through the tears. For someone out there is always fighting a harder battle. War scars that cut deeper into any measly scratches you encounter in your life. Petty arguments were never worth holding on to anyway.

Life's always a strange creature. Anything that can go wrong, will. Hate you, Murphy. I'll never be ready for the next one that comes my way. So, I smile and act like the world is my merry go round. That a great cup of coffee and toasted marshmallows are all I need in this world. Because, just because, that is all I can do. And maybe, that is all I really can offer. A smile.

I got food, baby

Thursday, September 20, 2012

A leap of faith perhaps

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

I've never been so afraid in my life. Oh a different kind of feeling, not your usual pre-exam stress. I know things happen for a reason and I do not question the things He has in store for me as I believe He knows what is best. But sometimes, I falter, like the weakling that I am. To be blessed with awesome people around me is the one saving grace He has given me. Wish me luck and a whole bucketful of blessings. I'm headed for the final showdown.

Friday, June 22, 2012

I am allowed to mistakes every now and then. Bear with me.

One of those days.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

You know those days when you just feel stupid? Yup, just one of those days.



As usual from my favourite tumblr.

Deer in Headlights

Sunday, April 22, 2012

It's funny really how much this little fille has changed. Right now I am trying not to pull out every strand of hair left on my already balding head. And hellooooooo! Where did you huge ass pimples come from??! Aren't I pass puberty? KEEL ME NAO.

So, hello corporate world. Maybe I am not so ready for you yet. I am, of course, coming from a very protected circle of family and friends, like a naive deer in headlights. Spare me a second to breathe, please. I can only believe that with every obstacle I face, there is always something worse that can come charging at me.

SARA, FOCUS.

I need to compartmentalise my train of thoughts ASAP.

Thank You.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Oh, a first!

Friday, March 23, 2012

So thankful for the words.

And she's back.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Another new adventure perhaps? Inspiration comes in bouts and sparingly so in my case. Mainly because I'm fickle and it takes alot to pigue my interest in something. But as always, God has been good and somehow I have been very blessed, deserving or not. I'm determined to continue this path I have chosen with God's blessing, counting the little milestones I achieve along the way. Cheers to another good day.

Image courtesy of my favourite motivational website.

How very true.

Monday, October 17, 2011

This holds true. It cannot be said enough.

After all is said and done.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

"Magical things happen when you work with people that are driven by passion. There is much more in this world than money. And lastly, I would rather be an extraordinary garbage collector than a normal stock broker" - Speech by Pete Teo.‎


Random find but it is nice to know that someone out there share's my sentiments. I salute Pete Teo. Let's dissect each part, shall we?


People driven by passion are really a sight to behold. There is a yawning difference between them and we common folk. The twinkle in their eyes when they talk about something close to their heart, a deep desire to make their mark on the world which is truly laudable. I've chanced upon some. And, it makes you wonder about what drives you. I've known for a long time that books were a passion. But I never thought of going into the publishing business. I entertained the notion of being a writer once. Or even an editor. But my pessimism and the thought of never producing something I am truly happy with always gets the better of me and I negate myself the right to being satisfied with something I've written. I might be overly critical, but I always believe that, one day I will find my niche. That doesn't stop me from feeling ecstatic when I find a quaint little bookshop tucked in the corner of one Melbourne's little footpaths. Or the smell of new books. As much as I love books, I have come to believe that it doesn't mean that I need to be surrounded by it 24/7. I have many other interests. And that doesn't mean I don't have a passion. Talk to me about books. And I'll make you see stars. 


Does the world even believe there is more important things than money these days? Or are we obsessed about the next paycheck and career progression? I believe that being blessed with good things in my life, I have never felt the need to want money. But then I get snide remarks when I tell this to many people, especially those apparently wiser than myself. "Oh you're young, you don't know what is important". Sure I do. Health, happiness and love among others. Is that not enough? I like what money buys but I'm sure that without all the materialistic things money gets you these days, we can still be happy. They did it in the olden days right? When a game of marbles was a childhood novelty. Not the latest Nintendo Wii. 


There is a reason why they say that to know what is important in life, ask a child. Because those are the minds that are most pure and not yet marred by the passage of time. I do hope that kids these days continue to live up to that old saying. It would be a shame for them to tell me that the most important thing was to get a new video game. This transitory life on earth is just that, transitory. Materialistic things come and go, kids. 


Now the last line in that statement is what I feel most connected to. I do not judge. I try my best not to at least. But really, to me, to know if a person is truly genuine, how they act in a restaurant is a dead clear way to tell the sweet talkers from the most humble. Do they thank the wait staff? And see how they treat that old cleaning lady, who probably did not ask to be born into such circumstances, to be working at 55 years of age to feed herself. Do they smile at the janitor on the way to the office. Who works until the wee hours of the morning to feed his children and put them through school, that prays every night for God's grace to grant them a brighter future. You can belong to the highest echelons of society, but if you cannot offer a word of thanks to the people who deserve it, you are not a nice person. Everyone was born equal and hence, deserve equal respect. It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice.

Transition period.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Plucking eyebrows is painful :( Why do we girls subject ourselves to this torture????

I'm gonna try the unibrow.


***************

And being torn is one of the worse feelings in the world. God, I trust you will show me the path you intend for me. This ephemeral platform can only last so long before I need to hop onto the right train.

There She Goes Again.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

So. I have come to a startling realization that I have neglected this blank canvas that is my blog for much too long. Many an events have taken up much of my time in the land down under. Sometimes, without the handy planner at my fingertips, I have to search every nook and cranny of my little head for a semblance of memory of my plans for the day or two ahead. And I fail most of the time.Hence now I have resolved to carrying the planner everywhere with me. Ok, I need to get a more portable one first. People! Sara loves pretty pretty planners that brighten up her day :) *winks* Yes, the mind, is such a convoluted mess at times that needs compartmentalizing every now and then.

Good things have come abundantly and sometimes, I take a moment to bask in the grace and love that our Lord has graciously shown to a sinner like myself. As unworthy as I am, He still loves me and that has given me the strength each day to stop whining about the unfairness of life. Never have I been more blessed. And I believe that knowledge is what God ultimately wants for each one of us.

Yes, I am still finding myself. No, I have not yet decided where I will be 5 months from now. But its okay. Really. Because I believe God has a plan for me. And that faith is all I have to give right now. Jesus, I may not always know the right thing to do, but I know the fact that I want to please you pleases you.

The Little Things In Life.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The problem with God given free will and countless options is that it is being given to people like yours truly. Because fickle minded people, with sometimes questionable grounds, with hopes tethered to shaky pillars of idealistic dreams need to be shown those arrow neon lights sometimes. Wave them if you will. 

What are you doing it for? Really, what are you doing it for?

Being thrown that question during a discussion over scrumptious weekend breakfast has made me ponder about many things. I can't say that I have always imagined where I would be after graduation. What I really wanted to do with my life. Never. I went with the flow, somehow never taking the time to question if what the world wanted of me was what I truly wanted of myself. My blithe nature allowed it. Not something I am particularly proud of but my past is something I have come to accept.

Discussing life issues with like-minded people can be immeasurably satisfying. I thoroughly enjoy those long heart to heart sessions. It makes me thankful that though life sometimes hasn't gone the way you imagined it to be, there are people around you sharing the same sentiments, hopes and disappointments, who are willing to charge with you every step of the way. Knowing you are not alone, being sometimes fragile empty vessels, it makes a world of difference to know someone will have your back come rain or shine. And by pure grace from God, you met those blessed souls on this fragmentary life on earth.

Having said that, we juggled the idea of teaching after watching a video about educating kids from our home country. A wise government decision, finally. We immersed ourselves in the notion of touching and imparting knowledge on young minds. What can be more noble right? And we did feel we would do it for the right reasons, not to glorify ourselves in any case. We agreed on numerous levels that educators were under appreciated. Not only in the country we hailed from, but many a countries. In a blink of an eye, education can be taken for granted. And with a deep rooted regret, it usually is.

The conversation brought back fond memories of the time when I spent  2 months as a substitute English teacher for my former primary school after a spur of the moment decision of deciding to apply for a job before my first year of tertiary studies. And that experience is always a testament and a solid reminder that the best things in life are not materialistic things.

I remember vividly that first day. Somehow, the large iron gates did not seem as big, nor as tall. Stepping past them did not seem as daunting either. The children, enough said. I could sense that my presence, not being much older than them yet standing at the front with the other teachers, piqued their curiosity to no end. Here I was, evidently the youngest teacher at the time, having no experience dealing with a class full of hormone driven, bursting with energy kids. They probably sensed my fear. I had truckloads of it to spare. Amidst the fear, I had hoped that my innate eagerness to please and impart the pittance of knowledge I felt I possessed at the time shone through. Rest assured, I'm much more comfortable in my own skin now. The knowledge is still questionable. That is for another time.

And the first advise the other teachers gave to me was not to smile when I entered the classroom. Strange? I definitely thought so. Apparently, I looked too sweet. Not to sound narcissistic in any way of course. I knew that I was an easy target if I showed I was a pushover for a teacher. And it was tough, to be tough. Needless to say, I failed miserably on the first thing I was not suppose to do. To smile.

The kids, on some days, were hard to control. I cannot even begin to lie. Teaching to me, never was a problem. It was the part of making sure they understood, to question if they did not, to pay attention and with diligence, finish their homework that was the tricky bit. To show me the respect I deserved as a teacher, first and a friend, second. Some days were hell, but for the most part, it was blissfully easy. They were adorable to say the least. And most of them listened to me at least, even those that were a little difficult to handle would eventually begrudgingly do so.

In retrospect, it was the small things they did, with open hearts, not expecting anything in return that I remember them most for. The moment I stepped past the school gates with my mountain of books, not less than four of my students would run up to me offering to carry them to the staff room. Mind you, they were eager to do it. The older boys, I still remember were sometimes cheeky. Asking about my personal life. And in good nature, I enjoyed the attention, and threw back the nonchalant answers I knew they wanted to hear, to get a giggle out of them. The way they called me 'Teacher Sara', in their cutesy little voices. I think at the time, the hardest part for me was to be stern. I tried, failed, and tried again. It wasn't easy, and the days where you regret giving them that first smile were many, making you want to pull out every single strand of hair. But you learn with time, things happen for a reason and sometimes, the hurdles you go through make you a stronger person.

When it came time for me to bid farewell, I could quote the infamous line that parting was such sweet sorrow. And they seemed genuinely sad I was leaving. I felt it too. My one regret was not taking a picture with them. I can't recall my reason for not doing it. I really can't. I suppose a mental image would have to suffice.

I left the school four years ago. And the best part? Recently, an ex-student, sent me a message asking if I remember them. And with ever good nature unabashed boldness, he says that he misses me and the old days when I used to teach them. That feeling, of knowing you made such an impact, cannot be described in mere words. Its a testimony that you were not a sheer subject in someone's life. You meant something. And you can kid yourself, or maybe not, that each kid has ingrained a poignant memory of you. Hey, if that thought gets you through a hard day, it never killed anyone.

I've reached a conclusion that no matter what, I would be most happy if I knew I was being remembered for something worthwhile. For posterity's sake, I hope I did leave a good impression on those bright young minds. And I won't delude myself into thinking each kid remembers me. Even on days when I wish the world was more my idealistic world, I am pragmatic to a certain extent. But being pragmatic doesn't mean a girl can't dream.

A subtle difference

Friday, April 29, 2011

Woke up to read this funny little blog post from 2006. Somehow, I find I sometimes fall into the habits and characteristics of the other gender. But how will I survive without my daily planner I will never know. A good, easy read. Enjoy!

Chore Cloud- One Difference Between Men and Women.