Me.My Life.My Thoughts.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

My Life(At the moment)

School reopened yesterday.No more getting up late.No more sleeping till noon.No more lazing around.No more fooling around.And so on and so forth.

Getting back my August test results has not been a fun experience.Oh wait.Getting back any results, be it a monthly test or exmination, isn't always fun for me.I think I suffer from pre-results sickness.My hands get clammy,I feel like there are hundreds of butterflies in my stomach and so on.I hate it.But I guess I can't expect much.After all, its my own doing.

I don't always consider myself fortunate.Many a times I neglect to open my eyes and actually see the things I have and only focusing on the things other people have and the things I do not have.I don't always realise that being able to live another day with all my loved ones is already a blessing.I guess it is true when they say that you will only realise what you have after you have lost it.I know its bad.And I know I need to change.But I'm only human.Fortunately I do realise it after a while and start repenting.I may not be THE most fortunate person in the world, but I do know that I am more fortunate than millions of other people, children especially, who don't even have the daily necessities needed to live, around the world.So yes, I am thankful for all the gracious gifts God has abundently showered on me although I don't always know it. It just takes me a bit of time(maybe a lot at times) to realise how good I have it compared to others.That, and constant reminder from my parents.

Taking the opportunity here to tell everyone how much they mean to me.

My Thoughts(At the moment)

I may have many obstacles to go through in life, but I just hope that I would be able to go through it all and not just give up hope half way through.God, after all, is my pillar of strength even when everything alse fails.Many people, yes suicidal people especially, just tend to give up hope when all seems lost.They just don't realise that even though at times when they think there is no hope left, God is always there.Just a simple conversation to God, can make a whole lot of difference.People just don't realise that every single person is important in God's eyes, regardless of how you look, what you wear and so on.Everybody has a part to play in his or her own lifetime.Be it a small role or a big one.Haven't you heard?

It's the small things in life that you do that make the big differences in you.

So...how about starting the day of with a smile?Or doing a good deed?Or being nice to someone?Or settle some indifference?It just takes a little effort to make a big difference.

Of course I'm sure some of you might wonder whether I do this all the time.The answer is simple.I don't follow my own instructions.But I am not hypocritical(Most of the time anyway).So what right do I have to advise others on what I myself don't always do?Well, this is yet another simple question.I DO try most of the time.But as I said before, I just take time to notice what goes on around me.So, if I am not able to follow what I myself preach, this just might help another person.

Reunion.Or so I thought.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Reunion.Should mean a lot to some people.There are reunion dinners and parties and so on and so forth.Well, I had a reunion, uh, 'get-together', shall we say.Or so I THOUGHT.

Started out as a normal day.Had many a things planned for the day.Left the house at 10. 45-ish.Reached Sunway Pyramid at 11.00-ish.It was a fun getting reacquainted with a few old friends.Seriously.

Then we met all our other long, lost, but not forgotten friends at the bowling alley at let's say 2.00 p.m.

Surprisingly, our organizer was there.So were a few other people.On time.Considering we,Malaysians, who are always so 'punctual'.It was a big feat.

This reunion was for my Standard 6 year.Not everybody was there though.Predictable.Just to let you know that I wasn't miss sociable in primary school,not that I'm very sociable now la.Thus, most of my former classmates didn't recognise me although I recognised most them.Typical.It was pretty evident from the blank faces some of them gave me as though they were trying to place me from somewhere but could not.All in all, the whole 'reunion' as some would call it, for me at least, was awkward.Really, really, really awkward.But maybe it's just me.

It wasn't all bad though.Once everybody got warmed up to each other, people started to mingle and get reacquainted with each other.Phewww....At least it wasn't a total disaster as people just kept going in and out and not really bothering to talk to one another.It would have been better if more people had turned up but hey, at least some people tried to turn up.We should just be thankful.

I just wish I didn't feel so awkward.*sigh*

August exams...oops..i mean TESTS.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Yup.August tests are finally and officially over.What a relief.For me at least.Yes, I didn't exactly study before hand.Cramming at the last minute was terrible.Stress and pressure was getting to me.I didn't think I could last another day.

I feel so liberated! I feel so happy! I feel so.......tired...sleepy...exhausted.Yup....the after effects of not getting enough sleep due to my laziness in not preparing earlier and thus, staying up late for the last five nights cramming.

You'd think that after going through the same routine for my mid-terms would actaully teach me a lesson.Think again.I just never learn my lesson.Such a depressing thought.

Another thing I noticed about myself.I just tend to set certain things to do in a day and not fulfilling them.Thus, emphasises my procrastinator status.Man, I feel so depressed thinking bout this and pondering on it.Ugh.

*Note to self:This is ONLY August TESTS.End year examinations are yet to come.

I feel so much 'better' now.Bear with me.

I (now) Know......

Sunday, August 14, 2005

A few things I have come to realise.

I (now) know that........

.....being myself is good enough for God.Nothing else matters.
....it is really no use trying to be someone else.
....getting to know people who judge me by what I look like on the outside are just a waste of my time.
....I can not please EVERYBODY.
....I love my family, friend and God more than anything else in the world.
....the things that count most in life are the things that can't be counted.
....telling the truth ALL the time can be hard.
....revising at the last minute is pointless.Seriously.
....doing something to the best of your abilities is what should matter the most and not what others think of it.
....our purpose in life should be to see one another through, not through one another.
....I can't be frank all the time.
....I am a lazy bum.Most of the time anyway.
....the flaws in us are the things that make us unique.
....being true to yourself is important.
....obstacles are the things we see when we take our eyes off our goals. *adapted from the book "Something To Smile About"
....if you can't love yourself and God first, don't bother trying to love someone else.
....no one is perfect.
....constantly reminding someone of something they involuntarily did or said to you that you did not like even though they apologised profusely can get old.Really la. Just forgive and forget.
....forgiveness doesn't come easy to some people.
....being mean has its price.
....God's steadfast and undying love for me is forever.
....I should never judge a book by its cover.Actually,I shouldn't judge at all.
....life has its ups and downs.
....life is only going to get tougher as I get older.
....among the things that you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart. * adapted from the book "Something To Smile About"
....believing in myself all the time is hard.But I can always try.
....everyone is equal.No one is different from the other.
....money isn't everything.
....being a catholic is cool.
....my musical talents are limited.Very limited.
....physics and me just don't go together. Sad as it would seem.
....I am not a genius and never will be no matter how hard I try.But wait.EVERYBODY knew that.
....if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
....I don't mix well with rude people.
....my concentration span is limited.
....giving people the benefit of the doubt can be a good thing.
....I should think before I act.
....making the right choices in life ain't always easy.

Split Decisions

Friday, August 12, 2005

Ok.I don't know what is worse.My inability to actually hold a book in front of me and study or this stupid haze.

Considering the fact that my tests are in,oh lets say, three days, the most obvious thing to do at the moment is pick up my books and start cramming.Really cram.Hard.I hate last minute revising although I don't even make it a point to start revising earlier.Go figure.

The haze is getting worse day by day.My eyes are getting sore.Throat is not feeling any better.Ugh.

I don't feel like studying although I absolutely must.Somebody save me!!Hehe~
Maybe I'll just blame my poor test results on the haze.It's a good reason.A VERY good reason.

Hail All!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Well well well.Today was quite an eventful day I MUST say.Although I feel a little light haeded at the moment, bet most of you guys know why,it wasn't a totally horrible day.

7.00 a.m.Off to school.The haze is getting worst by the day though.Yeah a real understetement that was.To actually say that the haze will not improve in the next few days is the truth.I hate living like this,where all you worry about is how much smoke you breathe in and coughing till your lungs hurt and your eyes are hurting all the time.The list goes on and on mind you.Ugh Ugh UGH!!

12.45 p.m.Went home early today and was totally grateful as I REALLY couldn't stand another minute of inhaling all that smoke.There won't be school tomorrow by the way Woohoooo!Exams, or should I say tests, as Germae puts it is next week though. I am DEAD.

I witnessed a miracle today.However,I wont go into the details.You can just ask me personally.Just remember that God works.Believe that.


Anyway,back to the title, there was a hailstorm today! Not everybody witnessed it though.Sad.It REALLY wasn't something you would wanna miss.I'm not too sure where the hailstorm took place, and mind you, it was not a BIG one, but I'm pretty sure most people in Subang Jaya were able to witness it.People living in Petaling Jaya however,did not I think.It actually rained ICE for a good 2 to 3 minutes.We even went outside to pick them up.It's not an everyday occurence in Malaysia so you can just imagine us going out and staring in amazement at the ice.Yup yup,at least today wasn't a bad day.Save for the haze.

Hope the haze clears soon.I just can't bear sitting for exams, i mean tests, with the haze as it hurts my eyes.Haihhhh.

Thoughts for the Day

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

So......Another day is over.Not a very fruitful one I must say.To me anyway.
I've been feeling rather low these past few days.I really have no idea why.

Anyway....I was reading a rather interesting article today.The topic?
Loving your body.
Well,so the article didn't exactly print that heading, but it's my own rendition of it. Trust me,I actually did read something relating to that.

Ever noticed how nowadays most people,teenagers especially,to name a few,are well,kinda obsessed about the way they look?Not that I'm saying it's a bad thing.BUT some actually go overboard and would do just about ANYTHING to achieve the perfect body.

The article I was reading ,talked about a lady who is a fitness counselor and yet she isn't exactly what you would picture a fitness counselor to look like. Yes,she didn't have the perfect body and the whole package.The article went on about how this lady just didn't care about what other people thought of her as long as she was content with who she is.

Thats the problem nowadays isn't it?People put more emphasis on what they look like on the outside rather than what they put in the inside.

Body conscious people just can't enjoy life to the fullest in my opinion.When you actually count every single calorie you consume in a day,even that small piece of cake or chocolate,then you really need to get a life.

So what if you've put on just the slightest bit of weight?Nobody actually cares la.If they did,then these are the people you shouldn't be mixing with.It only proves that they like you for what you look like on the outside rather than what you portray on the inside.

So ok,peer pressure does play a part in this I suppose.Teenagers just feel pressured to be the perfect person so that they will be accepted by all.But most of them don't actually realise that you can't please everyone.Nobody's perfect.People do tend to find faults in you one way or another.Most of us judge others on how they look on the outside for starters.I mean,come on,we are only humans after all.No point denying it.I am no different.Though,I'm trying to change.

However,if ever you need assurance that there IS someone who loves you for who you are and not how you dress, how you look like on the outside,how poor you are, etc. etc......just remember GOD is always there in your time of need for a friend.His love for us is unconditional even if we don't always take notice of it.Truly.

I,for one,am eternally grateful for his undying love for me.You should feel the same way.=)

Hey People!!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Well well WELL!!After much thought and consideration,I FINALLY decided to set up a blog.Courtesy of some people.I actually feel really inferior to some people,though i think i should not.

My english is rapidly deteriorating for instance.Exams are just around the corner and YES,yours truly hasn't started revising.Man,i just feel so......ugh.

Ok ok.So this is not the cheerful blog i intended to start out with.But hey,I guess this IS a place to express one's feelings.So please please please,do not think i will always post such depressing posts.I actually DO feel happy most of the time.Mood swings aside of course.