For what its worth, I now know what I don't want in life. Silly me.
I'm almost there. I may not know where I want to be but I'll leave it in Your hands. Trials and tribulations, I've had my share. But I'm almost there.
7am.As a first time voter, I eagerly did my duty. I woke up early, put my game face on, braved the scorching heat for 2 hours before I was able to make my mark on the paper for our future. The future of the children I might have one day. For their children. Maybe, one day.
I don't kid myself. I was never into politics and never had the stomach for it. But I, like so many of my fellow first time, doe-eyed voters got caught up in the election wave. Our generation, the new generation, went to vote for the first time.Blue ink fingers baby. No, I did not post my blue finger on facebook. But I am a proud voter. I voted for the change I wanted. The change that one day Malaysia will be a racial free country, that our skin colour and religious beliefs do not dictate and do not represent who we are as a person.
You see, this isn't about the fact that BN won through obvious lies and deceit. It's not about PR losing yet again after the hopeful bersih-ing of the electoral system. This is about my dad.
My dad, was born here. He went through the same hardships, he tapped rubber in the mornings before going to school. He went to public school. He learned to speak the occasional Tamil words. He played football with his kaki bola. He makes the occasional racial joke. Because everyone does it. He is a Malaysian. And he is growing old. He turns 60 soon. And then he turns 65. And 70.
And like so many from his time, he wants a change. A change from the corrupted leaders of his time. Filtering his hard earned money for their own selfish gains. A change for a chance to see a better future for his kids. Yesterday marked another let down in his life time. Something he had miniscule control over. To see an old man look sad and resigned is something I never want to see again. He might never see the fruits of his labour in his time. The good fight he put in as a responsible citizen for his country. But he wants his kids to see it. The hope that one day, our government will be the government for the rakyat. So daddy, I voted for a change yesterday. It didn't win the overall election, but I'd like you to know it was for you. I want you to see change in your time. Because you deserve it.
I'm as idealistic as can be. I have hopes that the winning government will reform. And if they don't, we'll have another election in 5 years. I'll pray for you, my current government. Because you have a lot to do. The long journey ahead will be rough, but if you can prove us wrong, you will regain our trust. That shall be your biggest victory.
So let us not be sad. Not for long at least. Our work is cut out for all of us. Be the change we want to see in the world.
You never know why people hurt you the way they can. Twist your fragile heart into a knot of confusion. Never knowing when it will be untangled. Or the creases that follow. Letting someone have that power to do just that is one scary feeling.
But, you know the person might just be worth the pain and suffering. After all, you hurt the ones you love most. Whatever happens, hold your head high, and smile through the tears. For someone out there is always fighting a harder battle. War scars that cut deeper into any measly scratches you encounter in your life. Petty arguments were never worth holding on to anyway.
Life's always a strange creature. Anything that can go wrong, will. Hate you, Murphy. I'll never be ready for the next one that comes my way. So, I smile and act like the world is my merry go round. That a great cup of coffee and toasted marshmallows are all I need in this world. Because, just because, that is all I can do. And maybe, that is all I really can offer. A smile.
I've never been so afraid in my life. Oh a different kind of feeling, not your usual pre-exam stress. I know things happen for a reason and I do not question the things He has in store for me as I believe He knows what is best. But sometimes, I falter, like the weakling that I am. To be blessed with awesome people around me is the one saving grace He has given me. Wish me luck and a whole bucketful of blessings. I'm headed for the final showdown.
It's funny really how much this little fille has changed. Right now I am trying not to pull out every strand of hair left on my already balding head. And hellooooooo! Where did you huge ass pimples come from??! Aren't I pass puberty? KEEL ME NAO.
So, hello corporate world. Maybe I am not so ready for you yet. I am, of course, coming from a very protected circle of family and friends, like a naive deer in headlights. Spare me a second to breathe, please. I can only believe that with every obstacle I face, there is always something worse that can come charging at me.
I need to compartmentalise my train of thoughts ASAP.
Another new adventure perhaps? Inspiration comes in bouts and sparingly so in my case. Mainly because I'm fickle and it takes alot to pigue my interest in something. But as always, God has been good and somehow I have been very blessed, deserving or not. I'm determined to continue this path I have chosen with God's blessing, counting the little milestones I achieve along the way. Cheers to another good day.
Image courtesy of my favourite motivational website.
"Magical things happen when you work with people that are driven by passion. There is much more in this world than money. And lastly, I would rather be an extraordinary garbage collector than a normal stock broker" - Speech by Pete Teo.
Random find but it is nice to know that someone out there share's my sentiments. I salute Pete Teo. Let's dissect each part, shall we?
People driven by passion are really a sight to behold. There is a yawning difference between them and we common folk. The twinkle in their eyes when they talk about something close to their heart, a deep desire to make their mark on the world which is truly laudable. I've chanced upon some. And, it makes you wonder about what drives you. I've known for a long time that books were a passion. But I never thought of going into the publishing business. I entertained the notion of being a writer once. Or even an editor. But my pessimism and the thought of never producing something I am truly happy with always gets the better of me and I negate myself the right to being satisfied with something I've written. I might be overly critical, but I always believe that, one day I will find my niche. That doesn't stop me from feeling ecstatic when I find a quaint little bookshop tucked in the corner of one Melbourne's little footpaths. Or the smell of new books. As much as I love books, I have come to believe that it doesn't mean that I need to be surrounded by it 24/7. I have many other interests. And that doesn't mean I don't have a passion. Talk to me about books. And I'll make you see stars.
Does the world even believe there is more important things than money these days? Or are we obsessed about the next paycheck and career progression? I believe that being blessed with good things in my life, I have never felt the need to want money. But then I get snide remarks when I tell this to many people, especially those apparently wiser than myself. "Oh you're young, you don't know what is important". Sure I do. Health, happiness and love among others. Is that not enough? I like what money buys but I'm sure that without all the materialistic things money gets you these days, we can still be happy. They did it in the olden days right? When a game of marbles was a childhood novelty. Not the latest Nintendo Wii.
There is a reason why they say that to know what is important in life, ask a child. Because those are the minds that are most pure and not yet marred by the passage of time. I do hope that kids these days continue to live up to that old saying. It would be a shame for them to tell me that the most important thing was to get a new video game. This transitory life on earth is just that, transitory. Materialistic things come and go, kids.
Now the last line in that statement is what I feel most connected to. I do not judge. I try my best not to at least. But really, to me, to know if a person is truly genuine, how they act in a restaurant is a dead clear way to tell the sweet talkers from the most humble. Do they thank the wait staff? And see how they treat that old cleaning lady, who probably did not ask to be born into such circumstances, to be working at 55 years of age to feed herself. Do they smile at the janitor on the way to the office. Who works until the wee hours of the morning to feed his children and put them through school, that prays every night for God's grace to grant them a brighter future. You can belong to the highest echelons of society, but if you cannot offer a word of thanks to the people who deserve it, you are not a nice person. Everyone was born equal and hence, deserve equal respect. It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice.
I'm Sara. You can bet I'm worth it. I'm God's little princess, a daughter, sister, friend, confidant, and a person to yack with about everything under the clouds. Once bitten, twice smart. A good song makes me blissfully happy. Easily amused. Unique things catch my interest. I had a dream. Looks at the world differently. But you are special too.
Euphoria In A Bottle
God. My family. My babes. My friends. Dark chocolates. Musicals. Earrings. Pillows. White roses. Poetry. Scarves. Wicked. Les Miserables. Quality time. New experiences. Shopping. Books. Jane Austen. Audrey Hepburn. Music. Sales. Confidence. Traveling. Purple. Green. Humility. Sleeping. Laughing. Vintage. Surprises. Pondering. Good food. Handbags. Camwhoring. Ice-cream. Sunsets. Pretty pretty shoes. BIG hugs. Romantic comedies. My lappy. Bookmarks. Heart to heart conversations. Reminiscing. Daydreams. Self expression. Hairbands. Randomness. Swings. Sarcasm. Long walks. Indie music. Skinny flat white.