Disappoint. Disappointment. Disappointed. You Choose.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Bear in mind that this post has nothing to do with people I am disappointed with.Seriously.On with the topic.....

I hate disappointing people.I really, really do.

It's nobodys fault.It's just that when I can't live up to the expectation of some people, I just have this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach so to say.

For example, and I won't mention any names here, but teachers in particular seem to expect a lot from their students.Believe me, the pressure is there most of the time, if not all the time.I wonder at times if teachers realise that we don't only have to study for one subject but 10!Or 11 or 12 in some cases.When they set a certain grade because they somehow, believe, that you can do it when you feel it in your guts that you can't, it just adds extra unwanted pressure.Some teachers can be understanding.However, others, and again I won't mention names, can go to the extend of saying that a certain subject is not important and therefore we need not study too hard for it.

There are of course numerous occations where I feel really bad because I can't live up to a persons expection.Feeling that you yourself can accomplish a task that is expected of you and feeling that you really can't do it, yet it is expected of you to do better is two completely different feelings. However, if you able to do it then well done.

I admit that self confidence does play a role in this, however important it might be to some people. Sadly, I don't possese that much and it is pretty obvious.

I DO try my best.Honestly.It's just that when my best isn't good enough for some people and they give you that "You-could-have-done-better" look, I just can't bear it.And then there are the people who expect so much from you that when you don't live up to their expectations, they get angry and make you feel rotten.

I know I shouldn't feel the way I do, but I just can't help it at times even though I know I did my best because I see the disappointed look in their eyes.I feel awful for letting them down.

I really hope I am not the only one who goes through this.

I think I'll go get some coffee now to drown my sorrows.It's too late to eat even though I would love to munch on something.So coffee will have to do.Tata~ =)